Journal

A Window Into The Wild Becoming

This isn’t a polished blog. It’s a living journal — a place where I capture thoughts, stories, and reflections as they arrive: sometimes messy, sometimes tender, often in the middle of real life.

Here, you’ll find small moments that made me pause, laugh, unravel, or see things differently. Each entry is part of my own journey through midlife — and an invitation for you to reflect on yours.

Think of this space as a conversation: part story, part coaching, part reminder that you are not alone.

The Cornfield Lesson

The cornfield slapped me in the face again today — quite literally. A gust of wind, leaves across my cheek, hair tangled everywhere. And instead of swearing or storming through, I laughed.

It struck me how much midlife can feel exactly like that: unexpected, messy, even a little ridiculous. We spend so long trying to hold everything together, to control the way things look, to present a polished version of ourselves. And then suddenly, life reminds us — we're not actually in control.

But maybe that's the gift. Maybe being "slapped awake" is exactly what we need sometimes. Not as punishment, but as a reminder that we are still alive, still becoming, still allowed to laugh when it's all a bit chaotic.

Reflection for you: Where could you soften your grip today? Where could you allow the chaos to be funny, instead of something to fix?

The Bench

There's a bench I return to often. It isn't particularly beautiful - a simple wrought iron bench in the garden - but for me it became a sanctuary. It is my podcast and pondering bench.

It was on that bench that I realised I wasn't failing.

I was unravelling.

After thirty-four years of striving, pushing, measuring my worth in productivity and titles, I thought stopping meant I had broken something. But as I sat there in the stillness, I realised it wasn't failure at all. It was freedom. The layers of expectation, identity, and conditioning were peeling away, and beneath them... there I was.

We don't talk enough about how sacred unraveling can be. How it's not the end of us, but the beginning of something more true.

Reflection for you: When was the last time you gave yourself permission to stop and sit — long enough to hear what your soul was trying to say?

Messy Hair, No Filter

This morning, I walked out into the world with messy hair, no make-up, and not a single apology.

That might sound small. But for someone who spent decades trying to look "together," it felt like rebellion. For years, I believed my belonging came from how well I could present myself: tidy, efficient, polished, acceptable.

But the older I get, the more I realise that freedom doesn't come from polish. It comes from presence. It comes from feeling utterly at home in your own skin exactly as you are (and accepting you have wild hair!) - you do not need to give in to how you think the world needs you to be.

And when I stop performing, something else emerges: a wildness. A radiance that isn't about looks at all, but about honesty.

Reflection for you: What's one small way you could let yourself be seen today — without filtering, polishing, or explaining?

A Small Pause

In my journal today, I wrote just one line:

"Where am I giving away energy I don't have?"

That was enough. One question. One pause.

Because the truth is, sometimes reflection isn't about filling page after page. It's about holding up a mirror long enough to catch your own eye and tell yourself the truth.

I realised I've been saying yes too quickly. I've been giving away energy I don't have — and then wondering why I'm so tired, so restless, so quick to judge myself.

Midlife has taught me this: power often returns in the smallest pauses. In the moments when we ask ourselves an honest question, and then give ourselves the grace to sit with the answer.

Reflection for you: What's one small pause you could take today to call your energy back to yourself?

Wild Radiance

I tried meditation this morning. Lasted 45 seconds before I found myself making a mental shopping list, simple things ...mum's birthday is coming up, I need to take the meter readings, have we got stock cubes?

Did I return that call yesterday? Old me would have rolled her eyes, called it failure, and written off the whole practice.

But here's what I know now: 45 seconds of presence is still 45 seconds of presence. And that is enough.

Midlife has shown me that becoming isn't about perfection. It's not about finally "getting it right." It's about learning to show up, even imperfectly. To keep choosing yourself, even in tiny increments.

Every pause counts. Every attempt matters. Every small step is a return to yourself.

Reflection for you: Where are you dismissing your own progress because it feels "too small"? What if you decided it was more than enough?

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If these reflections resonate…

The Radiant Pause is where these kinds of moments become more than journal entries — they become your own path back to clarity, confidence, and joy.

Whether you choose the self-paced course or the guided 1:1 coaching journey with me, this is your invitation to pause, breathe, and remember yourself again.

Walking beside women in midlife as they unravel, remember, and rewild.
The Wild Becoming is a space for reflection, rewilding, and growth.

It's not medical or emergency care. If you need that kind of support, please reach out to a qualified professional alongside this journey.

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